A word to the neighbours – as they have departed…..


I see that my neighbours departed today
And if I am honest, I’m glad
Not becuase I’m vindictive or hateful or sick
No, this is why I’m not sad.

You didn’t return my mower I lent you
Because it broke down
You said with a frown
And you insisted that you’d fix it
But time seemed to drift
And I became miffed
As ‘one of these days’
Turned to five years of Mays

And as for the leaf blower
You said this ‘got lost’
Oh, you’d pay for the cost
But you never got ’round to delivering
And add to the list
The fly rod and schist
And the hedge clippers you used when you were pissed !

My wife says your wife
Caused trouble and strife
As she often came round
To borrow a pound
Of sugar and flour and lard
The stuff that she took
Would not fill a book
But likely encompass the yard !

And at Christmas time
We gave you fine wine
Which we thoughtfully got for you
Imagine our shock
When we saw you make stock
And you mixed it with sauce vindaloo !

So we’re glad you have now left
Our hearts ain’t bereft
And the pets are not crying out boo-hoo
You shall not return
In hell you should burn
And I will now shout out ‘woohoo’ !

Advertisements

About TI

TI is based in Auckland, New Zealand. TI's somewhat eclectic interests include (but are certainly not limited to) legal humour (the law can be funny), good wine, the search for the best possible chocolate, alcoholic beverages, travel, commercial aircraft, photography, weird news stories and classical music.
This entry was posted in Poetry. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s